I Quit The Kush #01

Hey Blitches,

I’m not gonna beat around the bush I’m just gonna come right out and say it- I smoked several fat spliffs on New Year’s Day. *cringes in shame*

And before you say it, I already know how much I suck. I have every intention of quitting the Kush (believe me I do) I just underestimated how hard this damn journey was going to be; and I f the fact that I found myself up at 4am researching ‘ways to quit marijuana’ isn’t an indication of my guilt then really I don’t know what is.

If I’m being honest I f**ked up the minute I tucked my stash away in my top dresser draw instead of throwing it away. Apparently the first rule to quitting any addiction is to throw any paraphernalia and left over substance away. The steaks kicked in the minute the children were in bed and I found myself alone followed my an increasing anxiety that I couldn’t explain.

I kept telling myself to keep busy but after cleaning house and taking a bath I found myself with nothing to do. Watching my shows without my comfort spliff was unsatisfying. I felt myself growing irritable with every minute that passed.

At the time I felt too ashamed to seek council with my support system- I spent the New Year at home with the children after a full days work. I was tried, physically and mentally and just wanted to relax. I’m not making no excuses but perhaps I should have put together some sort of plan of how I was going to occupy my time.

Eventually I folded under my own pressure and once I started puffing I didn’t stop. The first one was supposed to be my last one but before I knew it I was back in the zone.

I f**ked up ya’ll… I’ll make no excuses and I’m not giving up!

Here’s The Plan…

fist things first… DISPOSE OF ALL SMOKING MATERIAL!
Seeing as the children are with their father from Monday evening and come back Wednesday evening I will spend Monday and Tuesday evenings after work in the gym.
I will swap all my liquids for water (because I really don’t drink enough) to help flush out my system
I will go for a run on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evenings.- Usually my lungs are beat after I’ve run around the park a few times. All I want to do after is shower and collapse on my bed.
Put my time in my new business venture- which happens to be a craft. Basically, keep my hands busy.
Meditate more- one of the main reasons I want to stop smoking marijuana is to restore the biochemical balance in my brain. Many people don’t know this but prolonged use of cannabis causes irritability and anger. Quitting might make me less of a bitch who knows; we’ll ask my ex in a month and see what’s up (Lol).
Getting out the house more is probably the most fundamental. I used to take the children to the park or out to eat after work; I don’t really know what happened I just woke up one day and I was a hermit. I think I need to make a conscious effort to do more activities outside the house. Even if it’s just to take the children to the local library for a different environment for a few hours.
Go to bed early – to avoid thinking about smoking late at night or before I go to sleep live bout some Chamomile tea and lavender oil to help calm my nerves.

I don’t want to overwhelm myself with a load of rules and too much structure so I’m going to leave it at that and see how I get on these next few days.

Wish me luck,